Monthly Archives: July 2014

Protect our children from ourselves

When you read this title protect your children from yourself it may sound funny and meaningless, it may also sound absurd to you what does this means protect from “ourselves”.? We are here to protect them from all sorts of dangers and unknowns. Protect from “ourselves”? Wired!! Yes dear parents from ourselves here you will read about those dangers we possess that we have to protect our children from.

In last few years the world is shrinking to become a nuclear family household. Unlike few decades ago family comprised of whole big bunch of uncles, aunts grandparents cousins and siblings living together under one roof. Which may at times sounded clumsy and noisy mostly. However in this kind of environment there was an opportunity of constant counseling and guidance available from other mom’s grandparents for the unmanageable situation at hand and a quick fix solution available. And was an opportunity of great learning and enriching experience for new parents and specially for mother’s dealing with all new sorts of challenges every day.
But these situations are things of the past we and are in deep oceans of life wandering here and there, to understand the best strategy to take care of our children.

So let’s come back to the concept of protection. And when we think of protection related to our little babies, toodles, and children of all ages the first things that strike our minds will be vaccinations, fire, sharp knives/blades heights and lot more. But there is one little monster monster whom we do not realize who lives right close to the baby and we never discover its presence. Those are our own emotional imbalances which lead to anger, depression, mood swings, fights and loud reactions. Yes we possess these qualities and when we are facing challenges and stress in our lives related to job, family, friends, finances or even if we happen to missed the train, bus, or any scheduled activity we tend to behave “Oh Damit” and it is the end of the world and we are taken over by agony and despair

At this movement the little baby/child not fully equipped to behave as whole grown up end up doing more mess all the times. And our reactions to these silly things turns out to be wired and bursting with anger and we behave monstrous, sad but true.
See, as I said there is a monster, now that the monster is discovered what can be done? How do we protect our children from ourselves. It is very vital and important for parents to understand and manage the emotional imbalances we possess at a very early stage in your role of being a parent. As this will prevent us from soying seeds of life long hatered between parents and kids which will be visible only after ages.

So here the solution, live today successful for an harmonious tomorrow.
We can change ourselves right here just tell yourself at that very point before you get trapped in the anger fatigue, tell yourself “protect your child from yourself”. There is no one around no granny, no aunt, no daddy to take over when you are switching personality. The baby needs pamper and love all the times.
We need to train our brains and understand the vital role of being parents at all times keeping this thought in mind “I have to protect my child even from myself”.
Remember how often we keep a constant eye on the little one even when he plays by himself and how alter we happen to behave when they slides into any of the dangers of fire, sharp knives or blades, heights or so and the first thing we say is “STOP”. Just this we must do to ourselves as soon as we get into the monstrous mode and we must say a courageous “STOP” to ourselves.

Of course there must be a remipand action for unexpected behavior and wrong doings but always in a structured and well planned way.

Remember the feeling when you held your baby for the first time in your hands. The greatest blessing of our lives are our children and the greatest joy is of being their parents. Let’s celebrate this, and protect our little ones.

How the happy lazy baby learns to crawl

When ever I come across these words “Every child is different and takes his own time to do things.” I feel relaxed that even through my baby is 6 and half months olds and has not started crawling he will start doing it soon. And the very next day I hear ” Oh my god, he is closing to 7 months old and did not crawl yet?”. Makes me worry and go crazy between these 2 statements..

Which of these do I have to believe. I am confused and lost and may be I am not doing good as a parent.
These situation leave parents lost, how to teach a happy lazy baby to crawl??
On my first attempt to teach crawling I started crawling up to my little one and he pays no attention, as this does not involve him. On my second attempt I make him crawl, but he is very uncomfortable and cries. What should be done?? shall I go by the words ” every baby is different “? Or I keep trying something else ??

I got the answer to my questions in our capability to work for our targets and goals and the art of motivation which helps us achieve our targets.

As human beings we have a inherent nature of doing things through goal setting and motivation. And we posses these qualities from the day one we are born and we start to exhibit these qualities at a very early age in our lives.
The nature of doing things to our best of our capabilities only if we have a goal attached. And if these goals excite us to have more, you can achieve unbelievable results.

Maybe it seems you have guessed the strategy to teach crawling from the above lines. However I will talk about it in detail.

As parents we see the new born baby as a very small and tiny little thing and even when time flies they still remain small and tiny in the eyes of parents and grandparents. We always tend to believe he is too young to do a particular task. However this is not true every activity in our lives has a respectable age to begin and can be done by all babies, and they posses all the abilities to learn and understand.
However most of them are capable of doing things even earlier the age we believe is respectable to do things.
However, there are only a few little champs, who do it early and the rest potential champs don’t get any close in doing their activities.

Let me make it clear I am not asking you to rush your baby into development forgiving response, but as a parent I am trying to explain about the art of motivation. This will help you shape the character of your little baby into independent human being. And free your mind from the standard thinking of ” he’s too young for this”.

Let’s talk about this concept in regards to teach crawling. Let’s recollect we do a lot of activities in our daily lives which we can categorize as routine work. However we also tend to undertake few task that are termed as goals and targets. Just try and imagine the kind of sensation your mind experiences when you think about your targets and goals. And if we are serious about achieving our goals we do our task with overwhelming energy and spirits. And we remain unaware of these hidden potentials for a long time.
Remember if you have an exam to clear or you are qualified for to lose some extra kilos or any other goal that comes to your mind. And you put all your focus towards your goal, and are victorious with the flying colors.

This similar kind of potential exists in each one of us. They could be tall or short, fat or slim, young or old. Yes you got me right! Young or old. And the too young ones are also included here. Only the medium of language through which the goal could be communicated to the little ones of about 6 to 8 months old babies is missing. That’s it! At the age of 6 to 8 months the baby is comfortable in his environment and has the ability to recognize their parents and feel happy and smile at the tune of their favorite song or jingles and or at the site of their favorite toy or food.

But setting goals for these little ones? What should be that task? How should it be communicated? Parents might wonder these questions. I was in the same situation like this. One day I saw my little one displaying his inner potential unaware, that his mom is watching him, trying to push himself forward as he believed that mommy is not in his room and is not paying any attention to his repeated fake cries to get the tasty food kept a few meters away from his hand. And yoohoo! I caught him doing his own task and realized that he is ready to crawl, but needs motivation. And as his mom I was aware of his favorite toys and foods and these became as his ting little targets and goals. In routine day play I started playing by giving him a taste of his favorite food ( be careful only a very small bite, which only excites for more, say small piece of digestive baby snack biscuits)
“Wow biscuits! He eats it complete at once. “I want more”. And in search of more he looks around and then towards mommy asking more through expressions (a wave, or a fake cry).
Now you have your chance to nail your strategy. Tell him, is the biscuit you want? I have kept it here. Come and take it! He will not pay any attention to your words as he is the happy little lazy baby and used to get things fetched right in his hands at one fake cry. So the response you may get, will be even louder fake cry.

Caution! Don’t get into the trap, keep trying.

Many cases on the first day of your experiment you will not achieve anything. Only restless actions and louder fake cries.

When you give up trying, don’t give the precious piece of peanut which was a target to the baby to eat as you have quit and want to indulge in any other activity. Instead keep the peanut piece as premium reward only for crawling. And distract his little mind and engage in any other activity. Else he was will learn to fake cry louder instead of crawling.

Repeat these games for a few days, and be consistent and determined.
You may keep trying new food or toys and explore which of these excites him the most. In a few days time you will be surprised to see him crawl for the first time by pushing him myself forward and eat his peanut which was kept at a distance not to far away.

Yippee! We have got him into action and conveyed the idea. At this precious movement don’t run for your handy cam, but encourage him by giving him a few more targets by keeping few more small pieces of biscuits at little distance away (that leads him to want more). And it look like milestones.
But he is the little lazy boy he may cry for ones kept little distant away. Mommy be determined and start encouraging. “Come little baby ” Yippee, you did it you can do it again.

I suggest, encourage him to get to at least 2 more pieces of the biscuits on the first day of his crawl. Because today he has broken the ice. And those tiny And to end this activity distract him by singing a song or dance with him to celebrate his victory.

Keep trying this activity with music, toys and people in other rooms so he sense that he has to do his work of “crawling”. If he is too dependent on you for his toys and food and cries for he is aware that you are around. Leave these little strugglers alone in a room with his target ( make sure everything is safe for him to be alone) on the floor. He will take the pain to get to his target with all his might.

You will see how the act of motivation will make him do his task and make you proud of being proud as a parent.