Not what I will explain will be in continuation of my pervious blog “Protect our children from ourselves”, and I believe my readers and myself have practiced the simple technique to remind ourselves that we possess a monster in us and the little one must be protected. However in times of danger when the little one constantly ignores the parental warring and undertake dangerous play what else do we need to keep in mind and control the situation.
And if are actions in dealing with our children are ever leading in any form of injustice.
Nirbhaya and every person who experiences injustice seeks answers how does it start? They might wonder what goes beyond the accused’s mind that he stays deaf and blind to cries and pleases of the victim.
Movies and stories have got us to assume that that the accused is being desperate frustrated in hunger and poverty. However this theory seems insufficient, as even people with educated background still undertake the actions of violence to empower another human being. And how humans who are designed to posses compassion and kindness validates cruelty and violence.
Well I got my answers, in my very favorite topic of “Parenting”. Every action which we display as grown ups all boils down to our childhood and early stage of learning. At That stage we humans are like blank hard disc and we perform as the inputs we have at this early stage in life. A child who only learned English can’t speak French simple! Therefore children who don’t learn compassion at home, can’t display it in future.
Therefore when we are raising our children we must carefully monitor our words and actions, as these are the inputs for the blank brains.
Let me define what violence means for children, it not only involves be physical abuse but it also involves empowering by force when the child refuses to do a particular task.
For a little one who refuses to take a shower everyday and with repetitive efforts of forcing him into the shower and overlooking his cries and pleases not only leave him frustrated but also brings a feeling of a loser as a parent also, inculcates fear and aggression in the child which gets worst for both parent and child.
Forceful shower makes the parent looks like a monster and the little one as victim.
At their age and understanding, this is violence. The monstrous parent and the victim child.
Think of a similar situation where you are caught using force to get your task done.
These actions are the seeds of violent behavior for future grown ups. The little ones tend to forget the reason behind violence but remember that to get a task done empowering the other by force is the only way out. That is the moral of life learned by the child.
How to flip the deadlock situation? when you are able to do your task, but peacefully.
Let’s explore a victorious way with flying colors.
To fight and negotiate a strong “No” with a child you must
1. “Make a Rapo” – with the kid. Take a break from the daily routine of quick shower breakfast and visit to the play groups or any other standard routine you follow.
2. Start talking- about how much fun it is to play with the bubbles at bath. Swim around, put some bubbles on nose and head and also read a few books on bath time and watching videos of other kids enjoying bath time.
This activity for a day will remove all fears and resistance and you will be able to figure out the reason behind the bath tantrums or any other tantrums.
As parents we must be constantly aware of our actions and to satisfy one task we must not create negative actions. Which may have long lasting effects.
These small communicative rapo with the kid will hammer the nail. He and you can solve the puzzles in their minds which look like black boxes.
And parents must most importantly allow time to kids to go through the end of the their Tantrums.
The more space and patience we employ in dealing in their growing up, the more patience they will learn, the more justified you behave today will prevent them to become criminals tomorrow.
All the world for the little ones goes around the role play of being parents.
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