Category Archives: self reflect.

Defer judgements, make space for creativity

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Has this ever happened to you, you are stuck in a traffic or travelling in busy train, you look out of window and from no where, a tiny little idea jumps in your mind.

“I could  make a system to smooth the traffic” – response ” No its not your job.”

“Let me try to make a solar gadget”- response “Na, Na it won’t work, don’t waste your time”.

“Let me draw a sketch of the beautiful garden”- response “No it is a rubbish though. You think you are an artist”

What do you think would have happened to these sprouting ideas which were responded with “No it is not your job”   “It won’t work!”, “No you aren’t an artist”.

Yes!! they will fade away, washed away from memory.

whoever experiences such a situation, has not only got rid of a so called silly thought but the world has also lost a budding architect, an outstanding engineering and a famous painter in the dusk of no where. And the world continues to lose  many more brilliant innovators and pioneers whose tiny ideas are responded with a “No”.

Let’s try to work and understand who is judging the world. Who stomped the budding architect? Who crushed the outstanding engineer? The artist?

Who do you think it is?  your boss? or your partner? No, look in the  mirror and you will spot the most powerful person who can possibly stop you. Yes it is none other than yourself. We stop ourselves and kill our creativity.

It is your very own conscious, regulated disciplined and very tactful brain. An Adult human brain which is equipped to scan sort and trash information in everyday life.

But wait a minute! Mr. disciplined and tactful brain, you ability to process information is speeding up and your scanning and sorting is not only also crumbing  unwanted information, but also my special gift, my Creativity!!

“It is not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.”
Albert Einstein

People all around the globe have such amazing big and small ideas and creative solutions to change the world. It is creativity and intellect which  has shaped and changed the world for a better living. Every day innovative solutions to stagnant issues continues to change the world. And not revolt or blood shed which the masses may believe brings a change. A sapling of a new idea, to do things differently.

As much as we know about the power of creativity, we also know sometimes, unfortunately curiosity and stupidity are confused. And because of this arises the fear of rejection. Therefore most ideas don’t even make it to the lime light. So many wonderful ideas lay buried in our minds. And fade away in darkness. Only because we judge ourselves and stop ourselves from venturing into unknown.

Saying a definite “NO” kills the idea and make us move on with day to day life. But saying a “Yes” is a risky area to be for most of us. It certainly does makes space for ideas to grow, but it may lead to a mental battle. What if things don’t work out, the way we plan? What if, one is looked down upon?   and many more.

In such a tossing situation, what could be possibly done? Well a possible solution could be respond to your ideas with a  “Maybe”.  Maybe I can try this new idea, maybe it might work for me.

Maybe, is a safe place to be you see, where you don’t have to engage in the painful battle with your fears and doubts. Maybe, allows space for the creativity to breath a little, spread and grow and sprout out beautifully. “Maybe” could be your best tool to defer your judgement.

Next time before you are scanning, sorting and trashing ideas tell yourself “maybe I must slow down a little, maybe these ideas stand a chance to be tried”. And who knows it might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Wait a little, slide into the skin of the child inside you, who is fearless, experimental and very curious. Open up to the world of possibilities, maybe its worth trying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why I don’t eat the left over food on the plates of my children

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For ages we are tough that all our life activities boils down is to have “food”. The highest the greatest form of blessing could be defined, to have 3 meals on your plate. And therefore we are engraved with the idea of never to let food wasted.  And the best respect that could be paid to food would be “All food on a plate must be Eaten!”.

I have lived with this though for ages, however I have started deveating from this though and gone ahead and stopped eating the left over food from the plates of my children and have no carry forward regrets in trashing the left over food and I drain it with great satisfaction and content.
I would like to share the learning that I acquired which helped me achive a milestone change in my behavior.

To understand the idea I am going to talk in the following lines, primarily we need to expand our spectrum and look at the world being inhabited not only by humans but also other species of life like insects, animals, and many other microorganisms.
And then we must now expand the spectrum of the “respect for food” attached which we assume is limited to humans and we blindly over look the existence of any other forms of life.

“All the food on a plate must be eaten!!” But, by someone who is hungry and only then food will be able to fulfill its purpose of satisfying hunger if eaten by someone who is not actually hungry but eats it in an artificial vague to respect it, leads to food not being able to satisfy hunger, but  every over eaten bite of left over food is waste and an extra load on your system.

The food on your child’s plate does not get eaten at the first place because it is deserved by some other form of life actually meant for other microorganisms and insects which also have their share on planet earth.
But humans have overpowered all the other species to an extent that we have assumed that planet earth is inhibited only by the humans and the food on the plate will be disrespected if not eaten by superior race humans.

Lets just stop and think, if the left over food is not trashed how will it stand any chance to reach the hungry and waiting insects and earthen lives which will thrive on this food.
And not to forget to mention, that we also accumulate a curse of eating the left over food as over eating after one has satisfied hunger leads to weight gain which simply means we have overeaten someone else’s share. Someone else here could also be the hungry dragon fly.

Sujata’s printing imagination for word press

The change Game

Today at the Mastermind Training, I played this wonderful Game, where a person narrates a story and each time the word “change” is shouted out, the narrator has to completely change the theme of the story and continue with a new background. The activity seemed easy, however when I was actually narrating one, it was a complete mind googling experience.
On my way back, from the training, I was thinking about myself and my response to changes, and changes that have occurred in my life. I would always, cling on to my comfort zone, as most of us do.

However change is inevitable, life evolves, irrespective if you wish to or not. Changing cities, getting married, quitting job, relocating and being a parent, all are significant changes that took place in my life. And the greatest of all which I hated was relocating cities and parting from family and friends. Anyone and everyone who knew me since my childhood is certainly aware of my clinging behavior, and how much I hated moving cities and waying bye.

But, today I am a changed person, the sand beneath my feet feels eroding, but it doesn’t shakes me enough.
What is it that has changed inside me? Why I don’t feel the pain anymore? When I change cities, move away from my friends? I don’t shred a tear!! Instead I m prepared, I am happy.
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Well to pen down my thoughts, it is a clear vision of a “Better Life”.
Novelty is the course of life, anything that does not flow, renews along the course and adapts to the pace of time will become rotten. If we stick, to present and hold on, nothing will blossom.

For the ” Better Life “, the clear picture, that is what I see, when we move cities, change homes, part from our family and go miles away from them. These distances are actually the stepping stones for a better future for me and for me to be able to provide better living for my loved ones.

So, now whenever, I encounter departure, I believe it must be celebrated and welcomed instead of wept for. Because departure is the beginning of a new story, and not the end of the previous one.

Sujata’s printing imagination for word press

5 pretend plays you must let your boys play

As parents and care takers when we think of pretend plays, we immediately categorize our children as girls and boys and then define boundaries for pretend play. These boundaries when planted in childhood get so strong that the little ones can never do away with them.
Pretend plays are kids way of living the adult world. Let’s open a universe of pretend plays for our little boys. The following pretend play for a complete development.

1. Cooking
When ever we think of pretend play and quickly categorise our children into girls and boys and draw huge boundaries for our kids and refrain boys into the kitchen premises. Cooking is an activity through which we are capable of feeding ourselves and bring peace to mind and body. Every child must learn skills to satisfy the basic needs of life irrespective of their gender.
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2. Clean up
Living in a clean environment is vital for good health and life long prosperity, this can only be achieved when every child learns to clean up their own mess every time they play or spill around. The idea behind is to have a cleaner kid to have a cleaner planet. Having good clean up habits will ensure independent clean life long living.

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3. Arranging things
Involving your little boys in stacking  keeping and arranging things in order leads to an amazing logical thinking. Calculating and measuring the space with sizes and shapes. These skills every child must be capable of doing by the age of 5 and boys should also have their hands on this one. By doing little stacking at home.
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4. Negotiations
Like the above stated roles parents of boys must question and challenge the views of their boys instead of accepting this words as final verdict only in the grounds of being a male child. He must be encouraged to negotiate which provides a fair opportunity to boys to learn to validate and justify their opinions. Else in future he will always be short of words to talk things out. This is a life skills which will come handy in all walks or life ranging from corporate jobs to having a healthy married life.
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5. Taking care
Being loved is a basic human requirement. Pretending to play as caring nurse, will not hamper his image or destroy his ego of a being a male. Learning to take care of his toys and expressing love and concern will help him grow into a loving a respecting male, rest assured these plays will make him more human.

Cast of the social transcend image and let’s nurture his childhood.

Sujata’s printing imagination for word press

How I found happiness in the loneliness

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Most often I come across these words, how do you manage to live all day home all by yourself? Do you watch television all the time instead?

I met someone and in regular conversations and she stated these lines”I am so much used to be going out and doing things that I can barely manage to be alone for one single day, my school college and work I was busy all the time”. And then she asked me how do you manage? Do you wish to work or not? And I go about and say ” yeah I do love to work”. Since I don’t know her well and want to quit the topic I moved on.

However let me introduce myself my ideas , thoughts and vision of life. I was just like this girl who never sat at home and took active part in chats and talking about sitting at home and being lonely is the most useless thing.
However life is always different from plans and at times stranger than fiction. Getting married in a different state, relocating every 3- 4 years raising a kid, living away from parents and friends only ended up being lonely for a large part of the day.

Living in an alien land like Japan where you don’t the language and also look like an alien, it was me who had the company of myself.
As I mentioned the thought of being home alone for several days was a nightmare, I was living that not many people around to talk to not many options on the television to watch and searching and browsing on the internet was so boring.
I look at myself in the mirror and say “why do I have to be like this alone?”, I want to be with my friends and family. I stare at myself and look closely “I look blessed” I have good food, good cloths, good health, nice house, everything but I don’t feel blessed.
Why is that I feel depressed all the time? Why I am unhappy about myself all the time? Because I don’t have any body around all the time. A tear rolls down my eyes.

Today I can clearly explain what happens to us when we say “I have always been busy with school, college and work”.
The fact is we have not been busy but we are consumed over intensely by the environment that surrounds us. Our eyes are consumed seeing the roads crowded by people on our way to school, college and work. Our hands are consumed driving our cars or playing on other phones or doing any other miscellaneous activities on our way. And rest of our body is is ideal and our brain is consumed by all These things going around us and at last we reach school, college, work do our routine jobs and at the end of the day we feel happy that I am busy all my life. Just pull out the fact of going to school college and work. We are just useless? No worth at all? I wander what should I do with my life? I have hell lot of time and I am bored and finally I am depressed if this thing continues for long.

This kind of being busy is just a state of consumption mindless consumption of ourselves!!!!

So does it means to be meaningful preservation in being lonely? Well both of the scenarios are extreme. There is a very simple way in between. We must initially learn to spend quality time with ourselves. As the most important person in our lives are we to ourselves and our own happiness encourages us to make others around us happy.
What does it means to spend time with oneself? It is to understand who we are? What are our strengths are, or likes are? What were are dreams and aspirations in childhood? Are we really living up to our dreams and aspirations? Is there anything I can do today to fulfill my dream for tomorrow? Is there anything I wanted to learn then but never found the time to do it? Is there anything I want to change for myself or others?

BirdFlying-Sujata

Once you have answered some of these questions or once you get friends with yourself you will always feel emerged and busy with yourself the depression and sadness of being lonely will be replaced with inner joy and fulfillment, that kind of a joy only you can give it to yourself.

This concept does not mean one must not be social or deprive ourselves from the world and people around, but we must be aware that we have a great deal of activities for ourselves and there lies a huge universe of things to learn and indulge oneself in it.
When we learn to be mindful of our activities we learn to spend quality time with others and grow to realize what is good company and bad company. The joy of being with oneself may lead to huge transformation and may bring us so close to ourselves and we feel empowered at all times, independent, fearless and most important of all respectful of oneself.

To our minds it seems busy as we are habitual if going to school, college and work and we believe that value creation in life happens only when one is out in the world undertaking challenges thrown to us by job or school or college and only then we have opportunities for growth and development. This is certainly true but if we live and cling on this thought forever we will certainly lose. Certainly we will grow old one day, certainly one day our children will leave us, or jobs will be taken away from us.
All the factors of being busy will be pulled away at one point of time in life from us, and that stage (old age) we don’t even want to think about will be reality then we fall into depression of loneliness, without family, no children around, no work to do and therefore we tend to term ourselves as worthless, and degrade ourselves, cultivate the feeling of jealousy for people around.

Happiness in life may be derived from wealth possession but true happiness and greater joys are derived when we discover our true qualities and potentials and when we can use them to create lasting happiness. This kind of self happiness can never be taken away by anybody or no factors can be pulled away from us, as I will never leave the company of myself.

And as I write this passage, this is one of my hidden desires I discovered by spending quality time with myself. Initially it was a deliberate process to free myself from the social and internet consumption, now it seems easy to slip into the company of myself instead and enjoy the joy of being lonely.