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“Don’t spit and trash me, believe, I too belong to you”- I am the Road

City LifeI quote “My beliefs will run through everything I do. My beliefs, my values are my anchor and when people try to drag me, as I know they will, it is to that sense of right and wrong, that sense of who I am and what I believe, to which I will always hold.” Ed Miliband.

Here today I want to talk about a striking contrast concept, invisible to the conscious mind. The role our beliefs and our Indian values play in shaping the face of our cities, towns, roads, and our villages. Ever wondered why can’t India have beautiful sparkling spotless clean cities, towns and villages?

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I believe it has to do a lot with our morals and values which we hold within.

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The above quote is so relevant, our beliefs shape our destiny and shapes each and every decision we undertake. And more interestingly the common beliefs of the society, community and the country will shape the destiny of the society. The common belief defines the way the country thinks, behave and works together. It surprisingly also plays an important role and controls the subconscious decisions in how our cities, towns and villages will look, how well our roads and dams will be constructed and maintained.

In a country like India, spirituality and religion dominates in shaping our beliefs and values. Some Indians may argue that they are not religiously inclined or spiritual headed. However living in an environment of religiously bended society, ideas and thoughts do get moulded beyond one’s control and knowledge.

So, let me explain how I am trying to join the elements of spirituality and the state of infrastructure our country .

Most religious and spiritual sects in India talks about happiness and tranquility of the inner self. Focusing and looking inwards is defined as a path to accomplish all material and immaterial happiness in the universe. The belief defines that the universe exists within you, and there is nothing outside, which the mind wanders for. We clearly can find this belief ingrained in a large number of population residing throughout the lengths and the breadths of the country.

This is idea is an incredible thought and provides limitless strength to individuals. Also in many occasions in the history, inner self focus belief has proven to be instrumental in drawing the country out of misery and depression.

However there is flip side to the idea, and as mentioned earlier beliefs run through everything that we do. As we (Indians) are “inward looking beings” our energies and minds are focused on the insides not the outsides structures of our country. Our conscious and the sub conscious mind owns the inside of the house and disowns the road on which the grand building is monumented.

The nation on the outside is like an overflowing bin, where you find rotten bits of leftover food lying on the pavements, incomplete and open drainage work waiting for months to be finished. Citizens defecating on the roads, buildings or any where they choose to.

However inside each house you will find  beautiful carved welcoming doors,  creeping staircase flowing through the house, 

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elegant big windows where natural light sweeps in, Enchanting designs and painting on the walls to swipe the senses away, antique wooden sculptures laid in.

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Every house displays creativity, innovation and design. The house of any middle class household or higher talks about the taste and flavours of life of the people residing in that house.

Malls and shopping arcades are built with perfect specs to offer a visual treat to the eyes, inside offer luxurious multi- expensive products from around the globe.

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But stands on filthily roads on the outside.

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Yes, we have a keen liking for cleanliness and beauty but it only limits to our defined boundaries.

Unfortunately the road and the areas beyond our belief  boundaries belong to someone else the king, the monarch, the municipality, the government or maybe NOBODY. The outside is brutally treated and trashed, spitted and abused. Everyone living in the society disowns the road that we live in, the road that we drive on everyday to work. People treat their office, their school, college, or gym as their shrine and that’s where it ends. Nobody cares about everybody’s land the “Road!!”.  And the poor, disowned, barbarically used “road” stood for years and is still waiting to be owned by its citizens someday.

We can’t achieve a beautiful outdoors by waiting for the government to set up “Clean India Movement” and wait for a day to see some people employed to clean the road only to see it trashed up again, we need to alter our belief system by linking the outside of our houses the public parks, parking lots, roads to our own environment in our minds first.

We need to link the outdoors as something equally important to us think it as our own and start paying attention to it poor state, start believing that the road which bears my house, office, shop also belongs to me. And it is not just something broken inside my house which draws attention and needs to be fixed but also the broken road and open sewer needs to be looked after by me.

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1,2,3,4,5 is all that you want from me, torching me is not normal.

1,2,3 no 4. 4?? Is this 4 yes 4, no. “Please I don’t want to do this!!”, please “I don’t want to do it”. Ok look at it again is it 4 or 5.it is 4 !! 1,2,3,4,5!!!

The recent video of the little girl learning 1,2,3,4,5 is disturbing and demonstrates not only a monstrous technique of imparting education but also highlights a sad reality of the our ideology of teaching children. As many times I come across this video I can’t stop myself learning about the reactions that are posted and see what the world out there has to say.

Our individual voices make the society and our personal beliefs will shape the belief structure of our society. And each time I come across couple of people saying that it is “OK or normal to be strict with children while teaching” is shocking.
I feel it is a shame that a number of people agree with the trauma the child goes through. I shed a little tear when I see the little girl suffering only to learn lousy 5 numbers, but I also wonder how many more kids go through presumably normal way of learning.

Dear parents who think it is OK or normal to mentally and physically abuse children for the sake of curriculum you need to wake up before you completely destroy the confidence and the urge in your child to learn.

Research has shown of all the bookish knowledge that an adult uses to secures a job, out of that only 10% of the theories that they learn at school or college are retained and 90% of your success depends on the person’s ability to communicate interact with the world.

There is a huge impact of the kind of positive or negative experiences they had in their lives. And if you are creating strict abusive learning environment which will negatively impact the learning experience, then don’t be surprised that your child hates the thought of homework hardly remember what they learnt last.

A study suggest, for effective learning the educator must inevitably be mindful that the process of teaching must be joyful and the emotions the child experiences will determine how much the child can retain. As being happy is key requirement for human brain to learn and store information.

So if you are saying that the child throws tantrums and hates to sit down and study, then definitely the problem is the person who is teaching because that person has failed to generate happiness in the process of learning and in this case and similar cases the teacher/ mother through their rotten methods of teaching have traumatized the child and the emotion that is linked with learning 1,2,3,4,5 is pain and suffering in the child minds.

You can’t conceal the mistakes you made through your wrongful methods of teaching by saying that the “child throws tantrums” or saying ” it for the betterment of the child”, to be beaten and tortured.

I urge such mothers and teachers to change their methods before it is too late for the child. Understand that learning encompass a vast spectrum of abilities to interact with the world and education does not only means school work!!

Bhahubali – The epic saga of the Indian way of life.

The most awaited story of the year Bhahubali has reached the streets of our towns, cities and villages. People of all ages has appraised and completely enjoyed watching the story of “Bhahubali -The most powerful invincible destroyer of evil”.

The story depicts Bhahubali’s endevours as DharmaYudha, and portrays his magnificent ways of establishing Dharma in the society for the betterment of the common mortals. The story of Bhahubali is yet again the retelling of the epics of Ramayan, Mahabratha. Where a righteous King tries to destroy the evil and is the source of happiness and prosperity for his subjects. Like every other Indian, when I watched the movie I couldn’t stop myself of being mesmerised and experiencing overwhelming joy watching victory to Bahubali.

The purpose of the story seems severe that the society celebrates his victory and a belief is spread across the nation that misery, poverty, inequality has come to an end.

Let’s understand how Bhahubali win the battle with the corrupt ruler. Bhahubali is supported by the common man. Thousand of young lads slay their lives, participating in the war as soldiers, the citizens sacrifice their comforts and unite to take part in the war. Every one in the country forgo their individual needs and stand for the nation. So many individual do this only in the hope of better life after the war is won.

Citizens irrespective of their go to the battlefield or stay back home inevitably lay a huge faith in the might and power of Bahubali, collectively praying for him and thus making him enormously powerful and strong. They all feel the saviour has come, to end injustice. And therefore it is inevitable that Bahubali will rise, the little timid boy form a far off land will have all the Bal. 

This kind of a Dharma Yudha was taken place in the epic of Ramayan, a similar events took place in Mahabharata. Were millions of common people were butchered and they lay faith in one man to change their destiny. In a belief that after the vijay of Dharma, there will be happiness in the society. Misery will end, poverty and illiteracy will end. The lowest of the people in the society, believed to be able to enjoy two square meals. The poorest had faith that they will be able to raise their standards of living.

However as we, go through the pages of the history this has never happened. After having won the Dharma Yudha each time in the times of Rama, Krishan and many other Bhahubalis. Even today a large number off the population is still living in filth! Why have we lost it? why poverty and illiteracy still prevails in the society?  I wish to ask the Bahubali’s of the Indian history why haven’t we seen a sustainable change in the standard of living of the people? why are we still struggling as the third world country?

 Or most of all why does luck favour the evil in the first? How do a handful of individuals get away with their corrupt ways of life and become so powerful?

Well the answer, to most of these questions lie in these epic themselves. The reasons behind lack of Dharma lies very much in these stories itself. The stories of Rama, Krishna and Bahubali is not about establishing Dharma, which will ensure prosperity in the society by empowering every citizen.

But the story is about making “ONE human being” the “God” the “Devta” immensely knowledgeable, powerful, the Dukharata, Palankarta. Who is capable of destroying misery and providing happens to all.

All the layman and women in the society from birth go through a psychological process of considering themselves worthless and dependent on the Dukharata for their happiness and removal of misery. The stories just like those of Bhahubali’s teach the common citizen that the cause of misery is someone else mightier, powerful and those problems can be taken care only be taken away by someone else equally powerful and mightier. The solution to their problems lies with someone else and common mortals can not do anything about it. The people are made to believe someone else will be their Dukhharta. People start to assume themselves as useless entities, unless they are guided by a supreme man, the Devata.

The Indian population has never been stories of common man being victorious in his life. Not many of the historical stories talks about individual capabilities. We are never been told that each one of us is equally capable, just like the Devata man to achieve high standards in life. We become are what stories we have learnt in our lifetimes. If we were told stories of laying same amount of faith and belief in our own capabilities rather than anyone else. We would have had a different history all together.

The citizen in the movie Bhahubali choose to suffer, yes “choose” to suffer for 25 years waiting for Bhahubali to return and help them erode their misery and suffering and save them. To take away all their pain, given by a evil King. This event really makes me wonder, a nation of few hundred thousand is waiting to seek help for ONE PERSON. Can not they collectively throw away a handful of corrupt evil Royal’s for their wrong doings? Instead they choose to wait, they accepted to be exploited at the hands of Bhalladev. Only If they had known about strength of their faith, and belief and placed it in themselves instead in the might of Bhahubali. Then, even ages before Bhahubali must have returned, the country would had got rid of the corrupt King, and might have been happier.

Instead they waited for the Dukharta, Devta, expecting someone out there to save them from the misery. The belief that kept these people bounded, and eventually weekend the whole society.

The common forgot that these Bhahubalis and Bhalladevs claimed their powers by making everyone else assume inferior and powerless. The powerful hid their mortality and weakness behind the golden doors of their palaces. Built by by the common man toiling all day long under the sun, funded by the taxes paid by the commons working in fields, roads or in offices. And namelessly dying in the battles for power for the the powerful, not Dharma.

It is time we start clearly understanding the roles of a leader, and be aware if a leader is being elevated to the standards of God!!

Yes their is a super power who has created all of the universe. But it is not the almighty’s job to keep us happy and fulfilled in our day to day lives. The almighty has blessed each individual with all the same five sense as he would bless a Devta, in the same mortal body.  And super powerful brain to think to rational and to question.

If we are going to live in the false idea waiting for the new age Bhahubali/ leaders to return and help and save the nation. Or waiting for Mahatams to take the nation to prosperity, then yet again we not getting any where.  And yet again the nation is waiting to be looted.  Because many Bhalladev’s are going to take advantage of our belief’s and fool us.

It is time individuals take action for their own pain. If their is an issue in your neighbourhood, take action, try to fix it within the neighbourhood. If there is someone corrupt and enjoying false benefits its our own duty to stop these people. Don’t wait and loose the battle, instead win it at the root. It is not just Bhahubali but each one of us capable of throwing away Bhallade’s only if we laid confidence and faith in ourselves and choose to take actions early on. Rather than waiting for some Dukharta to emerge from ashes.

 

Cherish the 16’s girl in you like never before.

The deep cherished desires of every woman would be nothing less than looking good, beautiful and forever young. No matter what age the calendar shows whenever you look closer a woman is always 16’s in her heart.

If it is a dark gloomy day or just a routine day, one sparkling dress will make her day.
She grows from a young girl to a teen, woman, a mother and so on. But standing in front of the mirror, she wonders am I looking good?

In blossom of adulthood, she walks away from home, packing all that she knows and she lustrous in the picture of the 16’s girl.
Makes a home away from home. Learns everything all over again.
And slowly the 16’s girl in her starts to sink deeper in her soul, she can be seen but not very often.

because she is not the same girl anymore.

A few months ago when a mommy to be started her journey. It was the same girl of 16’s but seems a bit heavier. But as new mother she stands in front of the mirror, she don’t recognise the image in the mirror anymore.

Deep down her soul maybe when she shuts her eyes, she sees the 16’s girl in her but with eyes wide open she looks for her madly in the mirror but the sweet 16’s can’t be seen anymore.

The girl cries to herself, looks at herself all around and all she see are the scars of her expanded body, she knows  they will stay forever, only be wiped away in her grave. Reminding her the pain over and over again.

Standing in front of the mirror, she thinks” is this what they say BEING A COMPLETE WOMAN? but where is my known self image, the known face in the mirror?”

The little child yearns for feed, she rushes and realises here is no hope or space for the 16’s girl in me anymore.

Taking care of everything, She slowly forgets herself far behind. Locked up in dust just like her party red dress.

Somedays in  the mirror the 16’s girl escapes, looks into her eyes with a hope.
Someday, maybe someday she will bring her back to life.
Maybe someday she will have time to look like her again.
Life slips away, the 16’s girl waits for her turn.

Don’t let the 16’s girl in you wait for turn forever. Just someday randomly put out your red hot party dress. Go make space for the 16’s girl in you. Hit the gym, learn to swim, but give her a second chance. Because the 16’s girl really makes a happy you. She is always wait for you to come.

 

Dear Single Parent, For The Interest Of Your Child Have A Partner

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Anushka and Rishi never seemed to be in agreement with each other. They always had their own viewpoints and both stayed adamant. It became challenging for both Rishi and Anushka to make peace. They always had differences. And therefore finally after 7 years off trying their best both decided to move on. To go in their own different directions. And when the matter was settled in the court Anushka was granted the custody of their daughter Kia.

“It has been 2 years Anushka you must consider getting married again. Are you seeing someone lately?” Asked Anushka’s mum.

“Mom!! I don’t want to discuss about it again.” Said Anushka as she swiftly walked into the kitchen away from the sofa where her mum was seated.

“No, Anu, you can’t avoid me anymore, I am worried for you my princess.”

“That’s the thing mom, I am worried for my princess, Kia. It’s not about me anymore but about Kia.”

“She is turning 4 and she understands a lot more about relationships.” “And I don’t want to put her in any kind of discomfort Mom!!” “Don’t you understand the heart of a mother?”

A tear makes it’s way out of Anushka’s eyes, revealing her immense love and insecurity for her daughter.

“Anushka, I totally understand your concerns my child. You and Kia are my children and my heart swells for you both.”

“And it is in Kia’s interest that you must find a partner.” mum said with a content in her voice.

“Mom!! If I have a partner how is Kia going to feel about the change? She is too young to handle all these emotions. And certainly it is not in her interest.”

“Dear Anushka, you are the universe for Kia, she copies you in everything she does. She behaves just like you.”

“Children pick up behaviour and character from their surroundings and most importantly from parents.”

“And if you spend your life without a companion, think the kind of impression you will leave for her when she grows up.”

“She will never know how to live and maintain a relationship. Maybe she might fancy someone when the she comes of age. But trust me she might hold herself back from getting into commitment.

If you are not going to demonstrate to her what it means to be in love, while she is growing up. It might be highly unlikely that she might have a stable relationship.”

Mom held Anushka’s hand said to her looking into her eyes “I do understand that it is going to be difficult for both of you to start a new chapter. However I see it is going to be easier for both of you today than anytime in the future. And nearly impossible when she is a teenager.”

As Anushka imagines what mum had just said, she feels awakened to reality. Her eyes get wider and with a deep calm in her voice she says.

“Oh mom!! I had never thought about my situation in this way. I always felt to keep Kia secure and give her the love of both parents myself. But I now understand what I am taking away from her in my fight against myself.”

“Thank you mom”

Anushka hugs mom and another tear rolls down her eyes, maybe this time these are tears of happiness and content.

Defer judgements, make space for creativity

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Has this ever happened to you, you are stuck in a traffic or travelling in busy train, you look out of window and from no where, a tiny little idea jumps in your mind.

“I could  make a system to smooth the traffic” – response ” No its not your job.”

“Let me try to make a solar gadget”- response “Na, Na it won’t work, don’t waste your time”.

“Let me draw a sketch of the beautiful garden”- response “No it is a rubbish though. You think you are an artist”

What do you think would have happened to these sprouting ideas which were responded with “No it is not your job”   “It won’t work!”, “No you aren’t an artist”.

Yes!! they will fade away, washed away from memory.

whoever experiences such a situation, has not only got rid of a so called silly thought but the world has also lost a budding architect, an outstanding engineering and a famous painter in the dusk of no where. And the world continues to lose  many more brilliant innovators and pioneers whose tiny ideas are responded with a “No”.

Let’s try to work and understand who is judging the world. Who stomped the budding architect? Who crushed the outstanding engineer? The artist?

Who do you think it is?  your boss? or your partner? No, look in the  mirror and you will spot the most powerful person who can possibly stop you. Yes it is none other than yourself. We stop ourselves and kill our creativity.

It is your very own conscious, regulated disciplined and very tactful brain. An Adult human brain which is equipped to scan sort and trash information in everyday life.

But wait a minute! Mr. disciplined and tactful brain, you ability to process information is speeding up and your scanning and sorting is not only also crumbing  unwanted information, but also my special gift, my Creativity!!

“It is not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.”
Albert Einstein

People all around the globe have such amazing big and small ideas and creative solutions to change the world. It is creativity and intellect which  has shaped and changed the world for a better living. Every day innovative solutions to stagnant issues continues to change the world. And not revolt or blood shed which the masses may believe brings a change. A sapling of a new idea, to do things differently.

As much as we know about the power of creativity, we also know sometimes, unfortunately curiosity and stupidity are confused. And because of this arises the fear of rejection. Therefore most ideas don’t even make it to the lime light. So many wonderful ideas lay buried in our minds. And fade away in darkness. Only because we judge ourselves and stop ourselves from venturing into unknown.

Saying a definite “NO” kills the idea and make us move on with day to day life. But saying a “Yes” is a risky area to be for most of us. It certainly does makes space for ideas to grow, but it may lead to a mental battle. What if things don’t work out, the way we plan? What if, one is looked down upon?   and many more.

In such a tossing situation, what could be possibly done? Well a possible solution could be respond to your ideas with a  “Maybe”.  Maybe I can try this new idea, maybe it might work for me.

Maybe, is a safe place to be you see, where you don’t have to engage in the painful battle with your fears and doubts. Maybe, allows space for the creativity to breath a little, spread and grow and sprout out beautifully. “Maybe” could be your best tool to defer your judgement.

Next time before you are scanning, sorting and trashing ideas tell yourself “maybe I must slow down a little, maybe these ideas stand a chance to be tried”. And who knows it might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Wait a little, slide into the skin of the child inside you, who is fearless, experimental and very curious. Open up to the world of possibilities, maybe its worth trying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 basics of effective learning

Learning is an inevitable activity which starts right from birth. Active or passive we are always absorbing information and learning from our environment. Learning maintains an ever rising curve and happens throughout our lives.

We learn new things from people, places, experiences. Anything and everything we come in contact with, leaves an impression on our minds. The ideas or concepts we learn are sometimes pleasing sometimes confusing and sometimes very important and useful.

To keep up with the pace of the modern world it has become absolute necessary to learn and retain information is at a rapid pace. The human brain is processing exponential information like never before. Pick any activity to learn cook, to learn to drive, to learn to play music, to learn to make friends every time the mind is looking for effortless and successful ways of learning. Knowledge is the key to a successful happy life and learning is the door to the ocean of knowledge.

Below are outlined the 5 basics of effective and easy learnings.

1. Ensure happiness through out the learning period.

For a mind to learn and retain new concepts happiness is the key ingredient. Do not stress to learn or understand a particular concept. Remember if you are unhappy, or at discomfort or just in low spirits, then there is no productive learning taking place. Understand that the concept or subject is not being well received by the mind. learning a concept on an unhappy stressed mind is like trashing it. Teachers and mentors must always be mindful of happiness in their sessions and be creative and tactful wherever needed to ensure a successful transfer of knowledge.

2. Plan breaks or intervals:

Allocating sufficient time for breaks and intervals is vital for effective learning, breaks and time offs  helps to successfully grasp and retain the new concept. Not only plan only plan for learning time, and steps and procedures but also space time for post learning relaxation time. Relaxation time helps to detox the mind and remove the unwanted information collected in the learning session. It  refreshes the minds. Gives time for the new concept to retain in mind. Breaks help in building motivation to learn more.

3. Repeat the same concept over and over again:

Irrespective of the discipline be it sports, music, or academic repetition is unavoidable. Reading the same text, playing the same cord or practising a brush stroke over several days have immense advantages. It helps to build and lay down the foundation in the mind to learn the new discipline. It also helps strengthening the memory patterns and shifting the concept from short term memory to long term memory. Emphasising a concept for hours in a day and not revisiting again next day will, just go down the drain.

4. Recall or ask questions:

To understand and evaluate how far a concept is understood it is very important to allocate time for recall in the learning session. Active recall by asking questions helps to engage the mind in newly learnt concept and leave impressions on the mind. It helps to sustain the learning for a longer period of time. Recall helps to identify parts of the discipline which were are not understood in the recent learning session.

5. Eliminate procrastination:

Learning new concepts and discipline mostly activates pain and discomfort in the mind as it seems an unfamiliar task for the mind to perform. Most people procrastinate or give excuses to learn something absolute new or that seem alien to them.

Pain or discomfort generated by learning a new unfamiliar concept can be eliminated by convincing the mind that boring task is only going to last for a pre decided time or couple of minutes. And  they are required to give their best only for these couple of minutes. For the  limited time just focus on the steps involved in doing that task  rather than focusing on the output. The output could be defined as a particular music note, the standard of handwriting,  reading number of pages of a text book.

Focusing on the steps involved in doing the boring task rather than the output is hyper productive. Engage the mind to work on the unpleasant task  for a couple of minutes to establish comfortability with the difficult task. Gradually the pre decided times can be increased and slowly you can work your way to the output.

Dear mom dad don’t put me in a magical, invincible yet a cage

Our lives are evolving at the speed of light and this is happening because of the rapid pace of  intelligence and technological evolution.
Also at the same time I wonder about its capacity of overtaking our lives each day.

These following lines express my idea completely
“One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.”– Elbert Hubbard

One “extraordinary man/person” in a child’s life is none other than parents who decide and shape the life of a child and are most important part of their lives.
Here, I wish to tell the extraordinary person  sometime very important which maybe the child cannot say but  really wants their parents to know.
I am going to talk about the hassle free, effortless, tantrum consuming toy which we hand over to our children without even giving a second thought. 
Did you guess it? Yes it is the super cool tablet or the smartphone or television which has amazing games or the engaging apps.

Wherever I go, to visit a friend or a family, to the supermarket, the malls, or I travel by train or I take a flight fly away from one country to another, I will always find this one child paralysed and mentally caged. Kept busy on the phone or a tablet or on the television.
As an adult maybe having a tablet or a phone may be prestigious object but handing them to children is nothing more than a visual cage. Beware it is not a toy.


As soon as we handover the magical tool the phone or the tablet to the child the world turns around for the kid. The parents becomes the magician and the cheeky, active naughty child turns into a mere puppet. The gadget spellbounds a child with all the fast moving animations and the child has no control over his actions and just like a puppet obeys all that is required.
Only to get a routine task done!! do we really want to do this to our own children? Do they really have be remote controlled and pay the price of being a child. who is naturally adventurous, curious, explorer or maybe sometimes naughty.
We already know that the tablets are highly capable to distract and wipe out memory slots and weakens environmental information storing abilities in living beings.

Do we want to give our children a childhood of no memories ? Or a childhood of a self image of time spent on the screen. Or an image of being mentally spell bound?
Even though we know about all the hard effects of the screen on our children, we sometimes negotiate with ourselves by saying “ what does the child really lose sitting in a trolley playing on the phone or tablet as he/she is engaged and entertained?” however  sitting in a trolley he/ she is already  not doing any active learning or anything productive other than throwing tantrums?

Dear extraordinary person Wait a minute, remember your childhood remember your  learning and joys occurred in the small everyday things you did.  The silly acts of laughing, crying, throwing tantrums was the part of your childhood, why not the part of our children?
True learning happens through exploration, and by making mistakes,
Throwing tantrums is a toddlers way to learn about his body mind and its abilities.

If the child was not busy on the tablet in an animated game he could see observe and learn from his parent the art of negotiation for being the future business tycoon. OH! But he lost the lifetime opportunity busy in a game.

If the child in the flight was not busy on the rhymes in a flight he must have learnt and observed how different and colorful the world is and he would have  been an expert in human skills. OH ! But the kiddo lost the opportunity to a dancing visual bear.

If the child was not busy on a chase game he might have learnt how difficult it is for mom to choose a party gown for herself. And maybe learnt to be  more patient in his future relationships, but Mr Little guy you have to let go of all these opportunities, see because you belong to a tech generation.
Your world must be fast moving at least your brain must feel that at all times. You must be highly stimulated.
Sadly, technology is increasingly  being used as a free babysitting/ baby managing service. Which is providing only electronic detachments to kids.
Don’t buy into the idea that, a tablet or a phone has a game age specific to my child, that’s where we sow the seeds of habits to hang on to the gadgets.
Just before the trip to a mall, supermarket, flight or travel why not pack a bag of toys for the children each time you go out?
Pack all your love and extra patience as your mum would have done for you.

Let’s take a step backwards in providing the world to our children.
Let’s stop and think, MAYBE in our quest to provide for all their wants,  or in the trade off the “Me time” that we want MAYBE we are taking away their childhood.

Let’s not trap our own children in an invincible, invisible, magical, animated yet a cage. It’s time we wake up, before the cage becomes their home.

Let’s do something for the country, start in your neighborhood

When I stepped out of India, for the first time in my 20’s for a vocation, I  still remember the decade old experience i had. I was bedazzled by the outstanding cleanliness and the standards of beauty of the cities. It seems a very standard experience, bombardment of thoughts and questions, “I love my country and thankful for having lead a comfortable life”, but I still wonder why my country lacks the basis of sanitation and the culture of cleanliness? Why do we the “oldest civilization” of the world live in a mess? When the cities and towns can be designed so beautifully?
Trust me, this question hovered my mind on my way back and for years to come. And to satisfy my quest I always came up with my own weird answers, however I never felt satisfied.

And as the saying goes “learn from the Romans about Rome.”

After having lived in various international cities myself, I truly feel I have the answers to my decade old question.

I know you will be guessing “oh yes, it the government and political system, where they have tighter and stringent laws to maintain cleanliness and beauty”. My answer shall be “No”. Or maybe developed nations have sufficient allocation of funds to the cleanliness of the state, I shall still nod my head and say “hhmm not really, partially true.”

So, who is that ? What is that, that keeps the nation clean and tidy? Well my dear friend the nation is kept clean by the Citizens and NOT by the government. 

Yes the citizens, people here take interest in the government’s functioning and it’s attempts to maintain sanitation. However they do not only look up to the government officials for the tidiness of the local parks and neighborhood, instead citizens take matters in their own hands. The cities the  towns are maintained by the citizens themselves.

It is someone just like you and me. Someone who has a desire for cleanliness and a passion for beauty and also takes action , that is, they develops a hobby around it. Well how do the foriegn citizens do this?

People set up social groups to clean up parks and surroundings. Make sure the trash is thrown into respectable recyclable and non recyclable bins each time, to avoid future mess. Each persons trash is their personal responsibility, not anyone elses.

The elderly, school children  all engage in cleanliness by forming  volunteering groups to clean and maintain a local garden or a neighborhood road. They cultivate hobbies of gardening, farming and preservation.

Residential socities send mandatory participation request to residents to take part in weekend clean up where every household needs to take part and the contribution is not always monetary.

My emphasise here is that next time, on your way to work when you are stuck because of the water logging and failure of the drainage. Or a morning walk in park when you get disgusted of the sad outlook of the park don’t drain your ideas and energies talking about the failure of the political system. Instead spare some time to take care and nurture that park or the road.

Remember it’s not only the battle field or the LoC, where your country needs you, but it is also the neighborhood at home needs your love, time and concern. We are the sons and daughters of this land and must take matters in our own hands.

My time spinning backwards, has yours began?

Time always  flows ahead, movements that have flown away from my hands like sand never comes back,

Neither do the people moved away by the passing time come back.  Nor the carefree laughter and lying on the back playing with mum and escaping dad every other day.

Always do I remember the song,” only if I could get my childhood back, I would exchange it for anything in return”

The mindless days beneath the sun, the peekaboo and the pillow fights all have ceased away in thin air.

 The he beautifull days of my life.

I am certain, many of us would feel the same when we remember our childhood.

The days of growing up, the days of no limitations and boundless boundaries.I wish those years walk back in my life.

 Time is rude, time is shrewd never spins backwards, not ever even for his mighty son. 

Hang on don’t be disheartened, however his closet ally  “Experience” does always spins back again and again.

Even if I cant get my years back I  can still experince, my sweet memories back which do circle around me.

I can live the cherised years again. Such is the might of experience it can walk your conscious back into time.

I certainly earn my  childhood back again playing on the hay with my children.        playing hide and seek, peekaboo which ley fell on the backstreets of my life long ago. Today again I have them on my to do list all over again and I am ready in my sneakers ready to go.

My little apple  of my eyes, with all his notorious actions has brought my mum dad present in my each day.I think of mum , when I am a mum I think of dad each day when he is far far away, what mum said when I was at this age, how dad acted when I did jumped out in a rage. 

Every word mum said every advice dad gave is now crystal clear, I am as if I speak what mum spoke to me years ago, I have become so much part of them and they a part of me which had never happened ever before.

If time could only move back,then it has certainly started spinning for me.

Has yours began too,?!