Category Archives: wit

The Incredible Power of Praise

presented by the ceo, matthew gray

Every time we interact with our children, we create a bond of love and nit the relationship with our children, the way parents speak and the words they say to them stay with them forever and creates a lifelong impression on the child.

A growing number of parents are aware about the impacts of their words leave on the children. A large number of population of parents have understood the importance of praise and have adopted to praise and motivate their children, yet the is lot more to the technique of praising children, it is not only to say ‘Wow you did a good job!’. It is the amount of praise and the way we appreciate them makes a huge difference and brings a massive difference on how they behave and deliver the best results.

Below are outlined some of  the basic and most common scenarios to praise and appreciate children and also outlining best way of communicating, that helps the little child to not only feel proud and confident about themselves but also gives them deeper understanding about their strengths and weakness.

Scenario 1:

General praise: Wow, you are  excellent at maths!

Impact: The idea that creeps into the child’s mind, through general praise maybe that he/she is excellent at maths, and do not need to focus or maybe not pay further attention in maths. These kinds of open ended sentences can maybe misleading or sometimes damaging to a child’s future ability in any particular subject.

Descriptive praise: I have noticed you have been working out hard to work out the right answers, to these problems, you have greatly improved your skills in maths.

 

Scenario 2:

General praise: You were being really amazing today!

Impact: makes a child to be self obsessed and overstating his/her own abilities. Does not give specific information on what they did well and how to repeat the good action again.

Descriptive praise: I really liked that you shared your toys with your friends and siblings, I can see that you are getting more responsible and caring, I am so happy about it.

 

Scenario 3:

General praise: You are quite active, You will be winning all the competitions on the sports day!

Impact: These praises might negatively effect the moral of children, when they do not win, and make them weak and morally vulnerable in the event of failure.

Descriptive praise: On most of the practice sessions you had a good concentration, which meant you could run fast than last time, well done!

 

Scenario 4:

General praise: You are a superstar in the class!

Impact:These praises can excessively boost moral of the child and may also lead to behavioural issues, as for little children are not completely experienced to handle vague and bogus talks. These praises also don’t give specifics to a child on his/her areas of improvements.

Descriptive praise: You pronounced the words clearly having a constant smile on your face and facing towards the audience, you looked very excited saying your lines. I loved to watch your performance.

 

Scenario 5:

General Praise: You could be an excellent painter when you grow up!

Impact: Doesn’t focus on efforts and present abilities of a child.

Descriptive praise:  You seem to have good knowledge about the colours and canvas, would you show me how to mix, these colours?

It is important that parents and carers are mindful of their praises and the idea they convey through their words. A descriptive praise is often more useful as it gives more understanding of the family values and rules, and gives children greater understanding of their weakness and areas of improvements. Descriptive praises are a powerful tool to help children become willing to accept failure and stand back up for a new challenge.

 

 

 

 

Can looking good anywhere equal worship?

In the close premises of the school of my little one, is located a high school and everyday when I walk down the road that leads to his school I cross paths with numerous high school students.
image

And in that brief movement when I look at them the though that strikes me is their beauty, for children of this age the “Young Adults” it is most important to look beautiful and fab. And non of them misses this point and even in their similar uniforms every one looks uniquely pretty and handsome. They look as if, camera ready to walk the ramp, instead they are walking to “High School”.

And I wonder why as adults we don’t get this point to look good, as many of the adults look shabby or poorly dressed? Because at teenage we must have got it. Let’s explore here.
At the blissful age of, “Teenage” humans get engrossed with the the idea of looking beautiful and handsome. In some young people the need to look outstanding ranks too high. So in their attempts to look picture perfect mostly draws a lot of criticism and in no time sadly are called out as “Dumb Blondes” and “Jerks”. Many young people encounter judgemental statements like “maybe he/she doesn’t do well at high school!! Seems like he/she spends most of their time in front of the mirror”. And slowly as the years go by these young people get trapped in those prejudice in order to fit into the society they undertake the transformation and sadly they lose their individuality and grow ignorant and feel too old to take care of looks.
Feeling oh dear, I am a mother I can’t really find time for my looks anymore!! Oh boy, I am a responsible man can’t spend on my looks!!
This would be a similar story for the people aged 30 and above. For all these people I want to let you know that to spend time and money on beauty and looks is not wrong, it is not against godliness and something very similar to worship of God.

Weired again !! Taking care of looks, applying makeup, visit to a hairdresser equals worship? To all the beauty parlors and salons are now termed as holy shrines, this sound really understandable.

To understand the above statement we must understand the creator and his intentions, when he created this truly blissful plant earth. All that the things that he created hold one thing in common, that every little object in the universe is uniquely beautiful.
Look at the blue waters, at the beach you can’t miss it striking beauty!
image

Can you stop being mesmerised by the beauty of the bright sky and the beautiful birds, their vivid beautiful colors, the alluring toucan, the flamingo, the daffodil, the lily the snails? Isn’t the sight of a new born baby breathtaking?The apples and cherries on the trees don’t they offer a heavenly view? Anything that you name it, all that we believe is created by God is always infused with exquisite beauty.

image

Everything he creates is beautiful and
STOP!! look at us, “Humans” we stop taking care of the way we look because we are trapped in the judgments of others humans and choose to go in an undesired direction. Is the creator going to be happy to see you shabby? Look into the eyes of your mother, you will see the most beautiful thing on earth.

image

So what can be done? How can one break through the fears of being judged as “too old”, “too young” “too fat” “too slim” “too short” “too tall” “too dark” or “too white”. The way out is simple choose to look beautiful and “picture perfect” do not get into the traps of social judgements by friends, colleagues, or any person walking down the road, slid back into your teenage and do all the random experiments. Do all that makes you look beautiful, bolder, younger, take care of your hands, your hair, your skin, your face, wear the cowboy rugs that’s lying in your wardrobe for years and most importantly feel beautiful and only then truly beauty will equal worship since we pay our gratitude to our God for blessing us for all the beauties.

After all, that’s what means true worship to pay gratitude and remembrance to your Lord in each and every action in your life.

Sujata’s printing imagination for word press

Trap of Poverty implanted by bed time stories

Money is bad

We must have heard that the most important ingredient required for winning is the attitude. Attitudes, behaviors and character are created by various sources.
All aspects of our life are governed by the attitudes we have towards our environment. If we tend to have a negative attitude, the blessings in life eventually fade away.
Money is a very important part of our surroundings and our negative attitudes as fear, detachment, or thinking it of evil all gradually lead to money vanishing from our lives.

“Financial Freedom is a Mental, Emotional and an Educational process” – Robert Kiyosaki (author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad)

I would today like to outline the bad attitudes and negative behavior towards money and identify and learn how they are seeded in my personality.

Attitudes and behaviors are cultivated through various inputs from our surroundings.

1. Parents
2. Social system
3. Culture
4. Religion

Here, I would pick “CULTURE” and highlight how negative attitudes and behaviors are created by cultures.

Cultural background is imparted from one generation mostly through the means of storytelling. Bed time stories and moral stories learnt at school, are a rich source of culture.

Let’s take a look 3 stories we tell our children relating to money and the underlying beliefs these stories form in relations to money and values created.

1) The woodcutter and 3 axes:

This story starts with a background explaining, a poor honest woodcutter ( note: honestly and poverty are linked) looses his only, iron axe in the river mistakenly and refuses to accept the golden axe, the sliver axe and accepts his the iron axe.
This story, sadly underlines honesty leading to a lifestyle, where he continue to be poor.
This story lacks the imagination how a poor person was an opportunist, who availed a golden opportunity or a silver opportunity for a good life keeping in tact his honestly. Whereas the woodcutter chooses, to turn down the golden and silver chances and decides to live in his miser comfort zone.
These are character barriers which the above story narrates and implants blind and pessimist character in the audience towards golden opportunities in life.

2. A greedy merchant gets rid of his bloom of turning everything he touched turn into gold.

The background of this story narrates, a rich miser and selfish merchant ( linking “riches” with negative character being “selfish”) pleases the Goddess of wealth and receives a boom of turning any object he touch, should turn into gold.
On being blessed, by such a boom he becomes over joyed initially but his blessings soon turns into a curse when he is unable to eat or drink anything because his food turns into gold as soon as he touches it, and he starves, he also mistakenly touches his daughter who turns into gold. And finally he regrets and concluded that money is no good in life and gets rid of his boom.
Again, this story is weak, and has a negatively impacting attitude towards money and riches.
The story portrays an imagination that being financially strong translates to bad health and disputed family life. Also creates a mental barrier that those who work hard with dedication and become capable to turn all that they touch into gold will lead to unhappiness in all aspects of life.
This story lacks how the merchant coped with his boom to achieve greater prosperity for self and society, keeping up his health and family happy.
Here there is more a mental destruction, than enhancement.

I would like to narrate a story that contrasts with the above negative beliefs.

3. Story of wit and cleverness of Tenali Raman.

Tenali is described as a very clever and learned person. At the beginning of his successful career he was guided by his Guru ( mentor), to worship the Goddess of wealth to give him directions. He followed the advice and undertook a very diligent worship and was successful in pleasing the Goddess. She appeared and brought along 2 bowls to choose from. One a golden bowl containing milk, which will bless him with riches but he will not have any intellect. On the other hand the sliver bowl containing curd, which will bless him in being a learned person but being poor all his life. Along, with a condition to, choose and eat the contents of only one bowl. And since Tenali Raman was a clever person he mixes the contents of sliver bowl into the golden bowl and eats from the golden bowl. Ensuring he is blessed with riches and intellect both. And thereby fulfills the condition of eating from only one bowl.
This story is a true example of using cleverness to have a financial abundant life along with great intelligence.

Sujata’s printing imagination for word press