There is no quick fix, to a problem is there any?

 

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There are times, when we want change to happen and we want it to happen quick and fix all the issues at once.
Let me narrate you a story of understanding of the law of the “Quick Fix” solution and why on earth it never works?
I had a long awaited wedding in my family, and the preparations of the wedding had began from the day the wedding day was decided, everyone was excited and I was getting ready to pick up all our might and lose the extra kilos which I felt that now was the most critical time to lose all the unwanted love handles to look my best.
I had laid out a beautiful Quick Fix plan, as I was super busy at work so I could not find enough time to get good workout, therefore I decided to pick up a crash diet just 2 weeks before the wedding so that I can lose required weight and still look my best, I had a quick fix solution which is rather hard and tiring process in regular days. It  was a dream walk, but no sooner my dreams were turned into a nightmare when just 2 weeks before the wedding the scheduled kick off date of my diet I feel sick and there was nothing I could do to follow the diet, as I was already low on energy and the wedding was so close that I should attend the wedding irrespective if I lose weight or not, the expected still needs to be done. I had to think of a new plan and also start executing one straight away.
I decided to take the usual way out, for weight loss, eat balanced food and workout. I also was lucky that I did cut out on fried and sugary stuff for a month now which was not part of the quick fix solution.

After 4 days of sickness, I was back on my feet and I worked out for 2 hours each day an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening focusing all my energies on reducing my belly fat and my love handles. It was a limited period of intense workouts everyday in the preparations of the D day. And finally on the wedding day after dedicated workouts and eating good balance diet I managed to shed all my unwanted picture spoilers. I wore my attire and flaunted my flat abs and picture perfect body. It was a great accomplishing feeling, yet it was a fearful thought, I was worried no matter how hard I worked out in past few weeks in the intense focused sessions I will still put the unwanted weight. I was worried once the wedding fever is over at things are back to normal I will again land up at the same place from where I started. And each, in the future whenever time there will be a huge event lined up in my life I will have to go through the same rigorous process. That night bouncing between happiness sense of accomplishment and despair for the future, juggling in my thoughts  I cracked the secrets of keeping fit at all times and picture ready for any big or small events. And that was “Todays mess must be cleared before the end of the day today, not over the weekend or before any big event, today, now” and you will never end up in tiring intense workout sessions, you will feel the freedom of living your life without having the image of a trapped chicken, who worries about the few extra kilos every now and then each time a celebration  or a party comes up.
And a week later of picking up this attitude of identifying and clearing up each day’s mess that very day’s mess me realize that my my complains and unsatisfied behaviour about my looks was not because I am at a certain age or any dam reason I give myself, but I had to face it because of my inabilities to identify and distinguish between today’s calories and preexisting weight and all this bigger accumulations made me feel trapped.
So, at the end of the story I wish to outline a point that the failure in a particular task is not because of all the x factors we identify but primary because of the weak task identifying pattern and the kind of negative relationship, behaviour we have towards the said task.

Think of any problem in your life where you consider someone or something else responsible, for your backlog or failure no matter how temporary you Quick fix that issue with intended focused session like house hose clean up by intensive cleaning just before the guest arrives or, weight management where one must be learning about the food and the flaw-full behaviours towards food which leads to being obese and over weight people consider liposuction for weight loss or some magical food for weight loss. Once you Quick fix the issue be prepared for another liposuction next next year.

Or for example people who face debt or financial issues think all they problems will vanish once they a get a refinance or windfall gain,fixing it out by any other borrowing will only make the situations more worse. If one does not learn about money and cashflows and the basic ideas to manage income and expenses, soon in sometime will land up at the same place, because in the quick fix remedy process one does nothing to change the behavioural patterns, setup in ones mind. Once the quick remedy is applied you assume the problem is solved for good and go back to your routine habits which lead you again at the beginning of a similar issue that you fixed sometime ago. In other words you will have to alter your relationship with that task or issue, to avoid a new misery.

 

Finally any issue that isn’t getting solved over and again is clearly stating that the behavioural patterns which have become a part of the individual’s character, is what needs to be fixed by enhancing learning and identifying loopholes. You need to twist your thinking become innovative and change your routine to tackle the issue that you have cultivated over the years before any concrete changes happen to the issue itself, remember if you want to drop out of the loop of quick fix and problem tackling over and over again. Do not Quick fix.

Dear woman Don’t begrudge the competitive copy cat nature you have

In a recent conversation I caught up few men talking and addressing women as competitive and to frame the conversation, the following quote describes it best “Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else”- Judy Garland.
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However, having said that the fact is women do copy each other and try to outstand each other. Well!! we are blessed with this qualities.

And when I look on the other side of the female character she is filled with abundance of love, and if she a loving and one of the most beautiful creation in the capacities of a mother then why is she filled with wicked emotions? why the woman experiences such emotions?

In the realm of the the creator’s mind what would be the significance to infuse such extreme qualities in one human being? Why do we woman are the way they are? What if we had non competitive women, would the world would have been a better place to live? Would’nt it?

Well it seems the way females are in their competitive and copy cat skin is the only the best way to make the world a nice a beautiful place to live.

Let’s try to understand, how the world becomes a better place by encompassing the so called wicked attributes of the woman.

In nature beings are created to satisfy or fullfil purposes. Females are primarily the nature’s machinery to produce offspring and take care of them and across species this concept holds true, therefore she is filled with love to give to the offspring and nurture their upbringing, the females are also filled with competitive nature, which severs to fuel her batteries of love and helps her emotions of love keep going. For example when a women encounters other children performing better than hers, she gains all the might in the world to get the best for her child, she works hard to motivate and inspire her child. Had there been non competitive grades in the woman she would have overflown with her emotions of love and not distinguish between her child and other children and all mother’s would be happy with the performances of their children whatsoever, and finally this world would have been only filled with individuals of average outputs, because from childhood their peers were satisfied with their average performance. Had mothers not possessed the competitive nature, children may not be pushing boundaries and reach to their best potentials, and work their way out in the life.

Also., if we look into nature, the little sparrow mother throws her little offspring in the air as she is driven by competition, so they learn to fly early and save themselves from being a pray to their predators.

In real terms, the world would not have progressed exponentially or even worst negatively performed as the mums would be only driven by blind love. So we may co-relate world’s rapid advancement and progression  only because of the competition attitude infused primary by mothers into children. Therefore once again we can say having a mother in life helps to build a outstanding personality and absence of the mother can not be replaced for a child.

So, next time when you are ridiculed for copying other females don’t begrudge it, embrace it as a gift of nature given to you to fullfil your purpose and live your life guilt free.

I can’t reach the biscuits mom, it’s too high

From a woman to a mother is like a roller coaster and coming so close to yourself.

When the child is born a mother is born.
Unaware of the world how enormous it is the child rest his tiny little hands on mother.
The new mother, unaware of how world, how it looks to the little child.

The new mother pledges to be an anchor in the child’s journey and envisions for her child to say mother “I can do it ”

Standing up tall playing with all sorts of things, one day the child stands in front of her and says mother, “cupboard is too high, I can’t reach for the biscuits”

She looks back in to her visions,recollects and thinks how can I let you believe that you can’t reach for the biscuits? for if I let you believe that, how will you ever reach for the stars, those are far high in the outer skies.

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For , when she stood in front of the mirror and said to herself I am too young, the child voice inside her echoed go for it mother, you can reach for the stars and a life was born.

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Can looking good anywhere equal worship?

In the close premises of the school of my little one, is located a high school and everyday when I walk down the road that leads to his school I cross paths with numerous high school students.
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And in that brief movement when I look at them the though that strikes me is their beauty, for children of this age the “Young Adults” it is most important to look beautiful and fab. And non of them misses this point and even in their similar uniforms every one looks uniquely pretty and handsome. They look as if, camera ready to walk the ramp, instead they are walking to “High School”.

And I wonder why as adults we don’t get this point to look good, as many of the adults look shabby or poorly dressed? Because at teenage we must have got it. Let’s explore here.
At the blissful age of, “Teenage” humans get engrossed with the the idea of looking beautiful and handsome. In some young people the need to look outstanding ranks too high. So in their attempts to look picture perfect mostly draws a lot of criticism and in no time sadly are called out as “Dumb Blondes” and “Jerks”. Many young people encounter judgemental statements like “maybe he/she doesn’t do well at high school!! Seems like he/she spends most of their time in front of the mirror”. And slowly as the years go by these young people get trapped in those prejudice in order to fit into the society they undertake the transformation and sadly they lose their individuality and grow ignorant and feel too old to take care of looks.
Feeling oh dear, I am a mother I can’t really find time for my looks anymore!! Oh boy, I am a responsible man can’t spend on my looks!!
This would be a similar story for the people aged 30 and above. For all these people I want to let you know that to spend time and money on beauty and looks is not wrong, it is not against godliness and something very similar to worship of God.

Weired again !! Taking care of looks, applying makeup, visit to a hairdresser equals worship? To all the beauty parlors and salons are now termed as holy shrines, this sound really understandable.

To understand the above statement we must understand the creator and his intentions, when he created this truly blissful plant earth. All that the things that he created hold one thing in common, that every little object in the universe is uniquely beautiful.
Look at the blue waters, at the beach you can’t miss it striking beauty!
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Can you stop being mesmerised by the beauty of the bright sky and the beautiful birds, their vivid beautiful colors, the alluring toucan, the flamingo, the daffodil, the lily the snails? Isn’t the sight of a new born baby breathtaking?The apples and cherries on the trees don’t they offer a heavenly view? Anything that you name it, all that we believe is created by God is always infused with exquisite beauty.

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Everything he creates is beautiful and
STOP!! look at us, “Humans” we stop taking care of the way we look because we are trapped in the judgments of others humans and choose to go in an undesired direction. Is the creator going to be happy to see you shabby? Look into the eyes of your mother, you will see the most beautiful thing on earth.

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So what can be done? How can one break through the fears of being judged as “too old”, “too young” “too fat” “too slim” “too short” “too tall” “too dark” or “too white”. The way out is simple choose to look beautiful and “picture perfect” do not get into the traps of social judgements by friends, colleagues, or any person walking down the road, slid back into your teenage and do all the random experiments. Do all that makes you look beautiful, bolder, younger, take care of your hands, your hair, your skin, your face, wear the cowboy rugs that’s lying in your wardrobe for years and most importantly feel beautiful and only then truly beauty will equal worship since we pay our gratitude to our God for blessing us for all the beauties.

After all, that’s what means true worship to pay gratitude and remembrance to your Lord in each and every action in your life.

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Why it is necessary for me to look picture perfect, now and today!!

Yet another year has passed 2015, the new year was welcomed with great celebrations and happiness.
And when I look into the calendar it is February already!
Only a month into the new year and I have witnessed so many events returning home after visiting mumma and papa, my dear friend relocating in a new country.
People who were a part of my life yesterday, slowly are becoming a part of history, the past.

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The circle of life has left me clearly understand the phenomena of time, that “time flies”. Everything that I believe to posses material, tangible or intangible which includes my relationships, my family, my friends, my hair, my skin, my cloths, my shoes. Everything has a limited lifetime, someday everything will become a part of history.

This realization has changed the way I look at things. And I understand that if I had to experience any happiness from any of my possession then it must be today. I can’t let it be tomorrow.

I have changed my attitude, stopped procrastinating ” some day I will call my neighbor ” “someday I will take care of my hair and skin”.
The only way to appreciate of your belongings is to take care of them with love.

I began to love my skin and put time and effort to enhance its beauty.
I began my voyage of skin care, learnt my skin type and found that I had sensitive skin, which needs special care that’s mild and gentle on my skin. I wanted the best care and I found Dove Sensitive Skin, which is specially made to help moisturise and pamper sensitive skin like mine.
Since, I always had sensitive skin and wasn’t aware about the skin type. I always suffered 4 signs of sensitive skin -Redness, Itchiness, Dryness and Sunburn and willing to change these had always been my concern.
But, after using Dove Sensitive Skin it has helped me restore my natural moistures, which I felt robbed away after using ordinary soap strips. Dove Sensitive Skin is very gentle and mild on my skin.

Dove Sensitive skin has 1/4 moisturizing cream that gently cleanses sensitive skin, making it soft and smooth. After the visible difference I learnt more about Dove Sensitive Skin and found it is
1. Hypoallergenic – which means this products causes fewer allergic reaction than others,
2. Non-Comedogenic – which means it is oil free cleanser.
3. Fragrance – free and
4. pH neutral – where pH is a scale to measure basic and acidic nature making it a mild and gentle care for my sensitive skin.

Now, when I look into the mirror I feel proud and very beautiful. Dove Sensitive Skin has helped indulge in luxury, flaunt my skin and look my very best everyday, and truly celebrate my skin.

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Why I don’t eat the left over food on the plates of my children

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For ages we are tough that all our life activities boils down is to have “food”. The highest the greatest form of blessing could be defined, to have 3 meals on your plate. And therefore we are engraved with the idea of never to let food wasted.  And the best respect that could be paid to food would be “All food on a plate must be Eaten!”.

I have lived with this though for ages, however I have started deveating from this though and gone ahead and stopped eating the left over food from the plates of my children and have no carry forward regrets in trashing the left over food and I drain it with great satisfaction and content.
I would like to share the learning that I acquired which helped me achive a milestone change in my behavior.

To understand the idea I am going to talk in the following lines, primarily we need to expand our spectrum and look at the world being inhabited not only by humans but also other species of life like insects, animals, and many other microorganisms.
And then we must now expand the spectrum of the “respect for food” attached which we assume is limited to humans and we blindly over look the existence of any other forms of life.

“All the food on a plate must be eaten!!” But, by someone who is hungry and only then food will be able to fulfill its purpose of satisfying hunger if eaten by someone who is not actually hungry but eats it in an artificial vague to respect it, leads to food not being able to satisfy hunger, but  every over eaten bite of left over food is waste and an extra load on your system.

The food on your child’s plate does not get eaten at the first place because it is deserved by some other form of life actually meant for other microorganisms and insects which also have their share on planet earth.
But humans have overpowered all the other species to an extent that we have assumed that planet earth is inhibited only by the humans and the food on the plate will be disrespected if not eaten by superior race humans.

Lets just stop and think, if the left over food is not trashed how will it stand any chance to reach the hungry and waiting insects and earthen lives which will thrive on this food.
And not to forget to mention, that we also accumulate a curse of eating the left over food as over eating after one has satisfied hunger leads to weight gain which simply means we have overeaten someone else’s share. Someone else here could also be the hungry dragon fly.

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Why don’t you work – just for Timepass

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The world is mindlessly jaterring and wandering every direction. Everyone seems to be a in busy bee schedule.

When I sit and think what is the most precious object I have with me and each time I get the same answer is my “TIME my LIFE”.
There could be nothing more valuable than my time sent over and never being able to get it back.

I consider myself fortunate being blessed with good education and the power to exercise free will and being able to choose.
However, whenever I hear these words from friends, family acquaintances and people around and women of similar background like me saying. ” I have kids and a loving family, I will work but only for TimePass”.

And I, equally feel a sense of great insult, when I am advised to work, so that I can keep myself busy and do some “Time Pass”.
No matter, how less time I can devise for myself after finishing up my roles of mother and wife, those precious hours or just minutes are the ones I desire for through out the day. And how can I choose to spend them mindlessly on anything and do just time pass?
The most disturbing encounters are, when I speak to my friends from my college and tell me ” My wife works, or plans to work after my kids grow up because she can do some time pass and support my income, and you know myself (male himself) I am so busy that, I don’t even have time to catch up breakfast “.

Dear men and the women who buy these ideas and words of those men, only because men choose to have a busy rushing life and are major bread winners and we females aren’t and choose not to have a similar routine so that we could take care of our kids, does not simply translate into that a women’s time is eligible for mindless spending.
It’s not only for career minded people to have targets, goals, and achievements but also for women like me.
And I believe in the thought that says “Every life has a purpose and mission to fulfill, no matter how big or small it seems”. And for that reason I do have targets, goals and purpose to live up to.

And whenever, I am be able to squeeze time to work, I will just not work for timepass, but to expand my life and work for something I love, I am mad about and enjoy the most so that my precious time seems even more sweet to me.
I, like the modern age, believe in women empowerment, but how do we plan to achieve it when women are instructed or planning to live a life for Timepass and not passion.

“A human is a product of his thoughts what he thinks he becomes” – Mahatma Gandhi.

Sujata’s printing imagination for word press

Conversations with Palchin

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Ruchi Deepak Manipal, a young mother, taking care of a young one and nurturing a young enterprise Palchin Photography.
Ruchi is one amongst us who, is paving her way, and experimenting with her role of mum and a budding entrepreneur she is  celebrating her first work anniversary.

Let’s hear it from Ruchi herself, her story of success and how she made it.
Ruchi calls her family her support system and Nishka, her daughter, whose her Golden pot.

Sujata: hi Ruchi, I have seen a lot of your work every now and then, and I wish to know more about you. Where do you come from? How long have you been here?
Ruchi: I am from India, Jaipur and I have lived in the UK for 8 years.

Sujata: Did you study Photography at school or college? Or any other form of arts??
Ruchi: I belong to the Indian millennium mass, the generation of MBA’s. I am an MBA in IT and Marketing. I have no formal education in photography.
When I moved to the UK, I worked in a telecom company in Marketing, and then an media firm doing content management, and always stayed miles away from photography in any form.

Sujata: incredible!! I admire your pictures and they are outstanding.
So tell me…. What or who ignited your passion in photography?
Ruchi: A mother’s wish, my daughter is my greatest motivation.
When my daughter was born, was then my passion of capturing every movement of her life was born.
I could not let go of any precious acts of hers, her little smile, her crawling, her first steps and her first cries. Everything of hers filled all my being and I found myself always clicking her pictures.
It was, after her first birthday, that I picked up my camera and began my journey of turning my passion of clicking pictures into, profession.

Sujata: It was a career shift, how did you manage to get work or be paid for your passion?
Ruchi: well, yes I wasn’t prepared to go back to work around the clock and leave my bundle of joy in a nursery, mentally I was preparing for unknown territories.
Initially I volunteered with an event management company, my work was well accepted and appreciated amongst the Indian Community in UK and my client base started building up by word of mouth, and then there was no looking back.

Sujata: you are an inspiration to mothers who want to break through from the guilt of working and leaving children behind.
What does it take to be really successful?
Ruchi: single most important ingredient would be ” Whole Hearted Dedication “.
I feel no complain attitude is all one needs. I take every opportunity of extra work as an opportunity of learning. Learning my work is the most valuable acquisition for me and so a grab any opportunity to work extra as my hands on real life lessons.

Sujata: great insight, how do you manage your kiddo and work? How do you balance both?
Ruchi: I am the backbone of Palchin, I do PR, admin, marketing, editing and photoshoot. My husband is my support system, he is in all that I do.
My schedule is challenging, I realise also I am the first teacher to my kid.
I work late nights so that Nishka can keep up with her toddler groups and activities.

Sujata: Thank you Ruchi, it was a great insightful speaking to you. If you had to sum it up, Palchin Photography means to you….
Ruchi: Palchin is about capturing emotions, emotions that the eyes might have missed but the camera will capture, the first greeting, the last bye, the innocent smile, the joyous laughter all your heart felt emotions experienced on the planet earth, in your journey called life.
Thank you so much Sujata.

Sujata’s printing imagination for word press

Why extra curricular activities? Why singing? Why swimming?

When I was just a wife, I believed being a mother would only involve taking care of the little baby and looking after his/her growth and nourishment.

However, it was only after I became a mother myself I realised the spectrum of the word “GROWTH”. It included not only academic and physical development but, it also involves life outside the academic circumference, i.e the extra curricular activities.

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I find myself doing this, every week from Monday to Saturday running from one activity to another from swimming, to tennis, to music, to arts and crafts and I see all other mothers doing the same.

I ask myself, am I getting trapped in a rat race? And am I imparting the same lesson to my child that life is a race??
I wanted to answer my conscious, therefore I decided to conducted a intensive research and finally came up with the real understanding that childhood is the time to learn and explore about the world around. According to a study conducted on childhood stimulation key to brain development shows the more the mental  stimulation a child gets closer to the age of 4 , will lead to massive development of brain and increase in problem solving ability. Children exposed to sports, music and crafts at young age tend to grow into creative adults, and have the ability for multi dimensional thinking. Here creativity is referred to an ability to find creative solutions to obscure problems in life. On the other hand, children who are not stimulated at a young age grow up to believe anything outside the academic world as alien stuff and finally conclude that maybe someone else can sing, or someone else can draw, but not “ME”.
Whereas the real reason for staying off the shore was that the little genius was never nourished and nurtured.

Therefore, I have taken a vow to help him explore the world all around him and, plant a belief that he can “Do it”, be it sports, music, arts and crafts.

And for a mother like me to keep going, I was excited to learn about the Max life Insurance – I genius singing competition for kids to make it big, which will be judged by eminent jury  Salim Merchant and Shraddha Sharma. Where the top 2 winners get an opportunity to record their first music album with Universal Music India.

By getting him involved, I want him to also learn the hidden power of goal and targets at an early age, so this little boy grows up in a superstar no matter which aspect of life he steps in.

The destiny of young child, is framed on the basis of determination of a mother.

picture courtesy ;Max life insurance,  i- genius,

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Positive approach helps you save millions

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We often come across various approaches towards life and widely accepted and encouraged approach by various motivational speaker is the positive mindset approach.

Think positive, be calm and approach surroundings with a positive response.

However in some scenarios, the person involved is so deeply engraved by the negatives of the surroundings, no matter how effective the positive approach maybe, the emotional imbalances pull back to the person to behave negatively, and keep falling deeper in the vicious circle.

To workout this challenge of negative surroundings, I have come up with a formula, which helps to calculate the money saved by staying positive in huge negative situation or small hindrance. Therefore one remains totally mindful and motivated to follow the “Stay calm, and carry on” approach “The “90% attitude and 10% environment”. formula for happiness.

So lets take up a scenario, of an upsetting situation, where your are pranked purposely by people around you. You tend to fall out of the frame of keep calm, you respond back either by anger, aggression or frustration. Your actions have a huge emotional drain on you and you are left with mental trauma and heavy head. And bingo here you are all, that you need to have an unproductive day and an unsuccessful career. Those are depression and trauma, which you have choose to pull out from the environmental prank.

If you behave differently, such as smile or ignore and let go of the prank/ politics. Keeping in focus your abilities and keep calm and carry on. This way you would not only end up being happy and stable also more productive.

I have devised a formula to demonstrate the keep calm and save millions

1 Negative Stimuli keep calm, let go

= 5 Hours of stable and happy mind
= 5 Hours of productivity

Note: 1 Hour pay rate = £8/hour (UK
Standard rate)

1 Hour productivity
= More satisfied clients per hour
= Greater business growth per Hour
= Greater chances of salary increase and recognition, higher bonus received.

All adds up to the annual outcome.

Keep calm, saved you from all the irrelevant losses and expenses that could have taken place due to lack of positive approach, which could include amounts spent on buying more
Coffee,
Cigarettes,
Office supplies,
Electricity bills( working long hours), Transportation cost ( taking a taxi back home)
And you loose chances of salary hike recognition and bonus.

This stands true even if you are self employed, you incur more expenses and loose all your valuable clients in just a blink of an eye.

5 Hours of efficient output = 8*5 = £40 investment each day.

Stay positive and carry on….

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