Tag Archives: ideas

The Incredible Power of Praise

presented by the ceo, matthew gray

Every time we interact with our children, we create a bond of love and nit the relationship with our children, the way parents speak and the words they say to them stay with them forever and creates a lifelong impression on the child.

A growing number of parents are aware about the impacts of their words leave on the children. A large number of population of parents have understood the importance of praise and have adopted to praise and motivate their children, yet the is lot more to the technique of praising children, it is not only to say ‘Wow you did a good job!’. It is the amount of praise and the way we appreciate them makes a huge difference and brings a massive difference on how they behave and deliver the best results.

Below are outlined some of  the basic and most common scenarios to praise and appreciate children and also outlining best way of communicating, that helps the little child to not only feel proud and confident about themselves but also gives them deeper understanding about their strengths and weakness.

Scenario 1:

General praise: Wow, you are  excellent at maths!

Impact: The idea that creeps into the child’s mind, through general praise maybe that he/she is excellent at maths, and do not need to focus or maybe not pay further attention in maths. These kinds of open ended sentences can maybe misleading or sometimes damaging to a child’s future ability in any particular subject.

Descriptive praise: I have noticed you have been working out hard to work out the right answers, to these problems, you have greatly improved your skills in maths.

 

Scenario 2:

General praise: You were being really amazing today!

Impact: makes a child to be self obsessed and overstating his/her own abilities. Does not give specific information on what they did well and how to repeat the good action again.

Descriptive praise: I really liked that you shared your toys with your friends and siblings, I can see that you are getting more responsible and caring, I am so happy about it.

 

Scenario 3:

General praise: You are quite active, You will be winning all the competitions on the sports day!

Impact: These praises might negatively effect the moral of children, when they do not win, and make them weak and morally vulnerable in the event of failure.

Descriptive praise: On most of the practice sessions you had a good concentration, which meant you could run fast than last time, well done!

 

Scenario 4:

General praise: You are a superstar in the class!

Impact:These praises can excessively boost moral of the child and may also lead to behavioural issues, as for little children are not completely experienced to handle vague and bogus talks. These praises also don’t give specifics to a child on his/her areas of improvements.

Descriptive praise: You pronounced the words clearly having a constant smile on your face and facing towards the audience, you looked very excited saying your lines. I loved to watch your performance.

 

Scenario 5:

General Praise: You could be an excellent painter when you grow up!

Impact: Doesn’t focus on efforts and present abilities of a child.

Descriptive praise:  You seem to have good knowledge about the colours and canvas, would you show me how to mix, these colours?

It is important that parents and carers are mindful of their praises and the idea they convey through their words. A descriptive praise is often more useful as it gives more understanding of the family values and rules, and gives children greater understanding of their weakness and areas of improvements. Descriptive praises are a powerful tool to help children become willing to accept failure and stand back up for a new challenge.

 

 

 

 

Defer judgements, make space for creativity

hey

Has this ever happened to you, you are stuck in a traffic or travelling in busy train, you look out of window and from no where, a tiny little idea jumps in your mind.

“I could  make a system to smooth the traffic” – response ” No its not your job.”

“Let me try to make a solar gadget”- response “Na, Na it won’t work, don’t waste your time”.

“Let me draw a sketch of the beautiful garden”- response “No it is a rubbish though. You think you are an artist”

What do you think would have happened to these sprouting ideas which were responded with “No it is not your job”   “It won’t work!”, “No you aren’t an artist”.

Yes!! they will fade away, washed away from memory.

whoever experiences such a situation, has not only got rid of a so called silly thought but the world has also lost a budding architect, an outstanding engineering and a famous painter in the dusk of no where. And the world continues to lose  many more brilliant innovators and pioneers whose tiny ideas are responded with a “No”.

Let’s try to work and understand who is judging the world. Who stomped the budding architect? Who crushed the outstanding engineer? The artist?

Who do you think it is?  your boss? or your partner? No, look in the  mirror and you will spot the most powerful person who can possibly stop you. Yes it is none other than yourself. We stop ourselves and kill our creativity.

It is your very own conscious, regulated disciplined and very tactful brain. An Adult human brain which is equipped to scan sort and trash information in everyday life.

But wait a minute! Mr. disciplined and tactful brain, you ability to process information is speeding up and your scanning and sorting is not only also crumbing  unwanted information, but also my special gift, my Creativity!!

“It is not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.”
Albert Einstein

People all around the globe have such amazing big and small ideas and creative solutions to change the world. It is creativity and intellect which  has shaped and changed the world for a better living. Every day innovative solutions to stagnant issues continues to change the world. And not revolt or blood shed which the masses may believe brings a change. A sapling of a new idea, to do things differently.

As much as we know about the power of creativity, we also know sometimes, unfortunately curiosity and stupidity are confused. And because of this arises the fear of rejection. Therefore most ideas don’t even make it to the lime light. So many wonderful ideas lay buried in our minds. And fade away in darkness. Only because we judge ourselves and stop ourselves from venturing into unknown.

Saying a definite “NO” kills the idea and make us move on with day to day life. But saying a “Yes” is a risky area to be for most of us. It certainly does makes space for ideas to grow, but it may lead to a mental battle. What if things don’t work out, the way we plan? What if, one is looked down upon?   and many more.

In such a tossing situation, what could be possibly done? Well a possible solution could be respond to your ideas with a  “Maybe”.  Maybe I can try this new idea, maybe it might work for me.

Maybe, is a safe place to be you see, where you don’t have to engage in the painful battle with your fears and doubts. Maybe, allows space for the creativity to breath a little, spread and grow and sprout out beautifully. “Maybe” could be your best tool to defer your judgement.

Next time before you are scanning, sorting and trashing ideas tell yourself “maybe I must slow down a little, maybe these ideas stand a chance to be tried”. And who knows it might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Wait a little, slide into the skin of the child inside you, who is fearless, experimental and very curious. Open up to the world of possibilities, maybe its worth trying.